Saturday, May 23, 2020
Mosasaurs The Deadly Marine Reptiles
Although they werent technically dinosaurs, the marine reptiles known as mosasaurs hold a unique place in paleontological history: it was the discovery of a specimen of Mosasaurus in 1764, in a Dutch quarry, that galvanized scientists into the realization that species could become extinct (and that the earth used to be populated by some very strange creatures well before Biblical times). Mosasaurus (lizard from the Meuse River) was soon named by the renowned naturalist Georges Cuvier, and the general name mosasaur attached to other members of this ancient family. In evolutionary terms, mosasaurs were distinct from three other famous groups of marine reptiles, ichthyosaurs (fish lizards), long-necked plesiosaurs, and short-necked pliosaurs. These sleek, reptilian predators may have been responsible for the extinction of the ichthyosaurs by the end of the Cretaceous period (not necessarily by eating them, but by out-competing them for food), and their quick, agile, hydrodynamic builds gave plesiosaurs and pliosaurs a run for their money. Essentially, mosasaurs ruled the seas for about 20 million years, until the K/T Extinction expunged most giant reptiles (and all the marine varieties) from the face of the earth 65 million years ago. Mosasaur Evolution While it would be tempting to speculate that mosasaurs evolved from ichthyosaurs and plesiosaurs, this doesnt appear to be the case. The recent discovery of the small, amphibious Dallasaurus, which was capable of swimming as well as walking on land, hints that mosasaurs evolved from early Cretaceous reptiles very similar in appearance to modern monitor lizards (another transitional candidate is the European Aigialosaurus). Less certain is the proposed evolutionary relationship between ancient mosasaurs and modern snakes; the two reptile families share sleek body plans, scaly skin and the ability to open their mouths extra-wide, but the rest is a matter of debate. In geological terms, one of the odd things about mosasaurs is that their fossils tend to turn up far inland, especially in the western United States and the interior of western Europe, along with other continents. In the case of the U.S., this is because, back in Cretaceous times, much of North America was covered by the Great Interior Sea (or the Sundance Sea, as its also called), a broad but shallow body of water that swamped large portions of modern-day Kansas, Nebraska, and Colorado. Kansas alone has yielded three major mosasaur genera, Tylosaurus, Platecarpus, and Clidastes. Mosasaur Lifestyles As you might expect with such a long-lasting family of marine reptiles, not all mosasaurs were in the same weight class or pursued the same diet. The largest individuals of Mosasaurus attained lengths of 50 feet and weights of 15 or so tons, but other genera were considerably sleeker: Tylosaurus, for example, packed only about seven tons into its 35-foot length, and Platecarpus (judging by its fossil remains, the most common mosasaur of North America) was only about 14 feet long and a few hundred pounds. Why these variations? Reasoning by analogy with modern marine predators, like the Great White Shark, its likely that bigger mosasaur genera like Mosasaurus and Hainosaurus feasted on their fellow mosasaurs and marine reptiles, while smaller species like Clidastes made do with relatively harmless prehistoric fish. And to judge by the round, pebbly shapes of their teeth, it seems that other mosasaurs like Globidens and Prognathodon specialized in gobbling down shelled prey, ranging from small mollusks and ammonites to larger (and tougher) sea turtles. At the time they went extinct, mosasaurs were facing increased competition from prehistoric sharks, a good example being Cretoxyrhina (aka the Ginsu Shark). Not only were some of these sharks sleeker, faster and more vicious than the likes of Tylosaurus and Globidens, but they may have been smarter as well. The mass extinction of marine reptiles in the wake of the K/T Extinction allowed sharks, the new apex predators, to evolve to bigger and bigger sizes in the course of the Cenozoic Era. The culmination of this trend was the truly enormous (up to 50 feet long and 50 tons) Megalodon.
Monday, May 11, 2020
The Media Shape And Reinforce Feminism - 1477 Words
The Media Shape and Reinforce Feminism Why cannot female characters be stronger? The role of media is representing the social status that reflects the actual situation of the female in societyââ¬â¢s different aspects. However, female characters do not have enough representation because males take most of the important roles in different kinds of media. Female characters are always represented as one-sided and more reliant on male characters. Even though there is a trend of misrepresentation of females characters, but there is more and more shows have a better portrayal of feminism over time. The portrait of females in TV shows is changing. Because womenââ¬â¢ dreams are no longer just being taken care of the family in the real lives, but alsoâ⬠¦show more contentâ⬠¦For Example, It can show how society treats female at work and their view on a woman s relationship with men, work, and family. If women continue to be represented as dependent and fragile, the status of women will remain low for men are considered to be powerful and tough. Better representation of females on TV brings the hope of feminism development which mean that the ideology of females also change in a positive way. If we can discover how depictions of female characters change, we can have a better understanding of how the status of females changes in society from the past to current day. The progress of feminist representation in the media has a huge relationship to the feminist movement since the 1960s. There are three waves of feminism in history. According to Martha Rampton, the author of ââ¬Å"Four Wave of Feminism,â⬠the feminist movement shows the correct awareness of female right. Females no longer want to live through their dependence on men. Females are fighting for their freedom, rights, and dignity. The first wave of feminism occurred in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, and focused on gender equality. The second wave of feminism from the 1960s to 1970s was about sexuality and family and the workplace. After the second wave of feminist movement, there were some magazines and books that showed the different aspects of women. From the 1990s to the present day is the third wave of feminism, which focuses on individualism andShow MoreRelatedWhat s The First Thing You Think Of When You Hear The Word1392 Words à |à 6 Pagesthing you think of when you hear the word, feminism? A hateful, misandrist ideology? A word that is inherently sexist in its spellin g? Special treatment for women? Something that only women can believe in? Something that only man-hating, bra-burning, unshaven, witchcraft-practicing, ugly, lesbians believe in? Something to believe in when you can t get a boyfriend? Unnecessary because sexism and inequality no longer exist? When it comes to feminism, I ve heard it all-- every misconception,Read MoreMedia and Social Inequality906 Words à |à 4 PagesMedia and Social Inequality The Media promotes and reproduces societal values and norms, establishing common meanings and understandings among groups and individuals. These common meanings are portrayed in the media and put forward by the dominant culture; and for this reason the patterns of inequality that benefit the dominant culture are produced and reproduced. The media today are not only entertaining the people but also favor the spreading of certain information. The different media thusRead MoreWhat Makes An Effective Social Theory? Essay1465 Words à |à 6 PagesTo reinforce the concept of difference in a social movement Baum suggests that what makes an effective social theory, including feminist theory is it understands the social and political arrangements of the people situated in the argument. So that understanding then helps shape the processes the theory must then go through (Baum 1087), because feminism is fighting for something so big, gender equality, it affects at least half of the population , and not one person s situation will be completelyRead MoreThe Four Aspects Of Sociology And Their View On The Media1197 Words à |à 5 Pagesview on the media The media comes in many different formats ranging from the internet (new media) to newspapers (old media, which has been around for many years). The term ââ¬Ëmass mediaââ¬â¢ refers to the technology, organisations and producers involved in one-way communication with large audiences without any face-to-face or personal contact. The media is mostly owned by trans-national companies (TNC). This essay explores the views of several aspects of sociology: Functionalism, Marxism, Feminism and Post-ModernismRead MoreBefore Diving Into The Current State Of Male Roles In Advertising,1322 Words à |à 6 Pagesnecessary to review past gender stereotypes and how they have developed in the past. Looking at advertising through the media from a social determinist standpoint, the existing cultural and social values and progresses are what determine how gender roles are portrayed in media. This would go against the cultivation theory notion that the media used to portray men and women are what shape our cultural and social ideologies. Grau and Zotos (2016) establish this ââ¬Å"the mirror versus the moldâ⬠debate and noteRead MoreImportance Of Female Education On India Essay1509 Words à |à 7 PagesImportance of Female Education in Pakistan to Break Boundaries in Society The word ââ¬Å"mediaâ⬠is derived from the word ââ¬Å"mediumâ⬠which means a carrier of information through a large number of people. Since media is the screen through which a large number of messages pass through it plays an integral role in the shaping of thoughts, ideologies and mind sets within a society. Throughout history it has played a significant role in the shaping and evolution of societies and cultures all over the globe. HenceRead MoreWhy And How Gender Stereotypes1654 Words à |à 7 Pages The liberal feminism or mainstream feminism demand for the overall societal system to not favour or discriminate people based on gender. Liberal feminists believe that there is no need for the society to completely restructured, but rather to start adopt non-sexism. Liberal feminist idea of equality is now used to challenge the conventional gender roles and gender stereotypes in modern day advertising(Cohen). The use of media is one of the best way to subtly endorse and reinforce any ideologyRead MoreCritical Analysis Of Olivia Popes Scandal1158 Words à |à 5 Pagespolitical drama television series, the Scandal. She is a savvy, competitive, and efficient crisis manager who owns and runs her firm called Pope Associates that handles political situations in Washington D.C. The character has become influential in feminism, fashion, and now even intersectionality. The show debuted on April 5, 2012, and Pope is the only dramatic protagonist role that has been played by a black woman on American network television since 1974. Owing to the current representation of blackRead MoreWomen s Influence On Pop Culture1605 Words à |à 7 Pages2014, we saw many famous women revealing their assets in the media to prove a point, that is, to show that they are sexually liberated. Although, it may have seem they were using their bodies to make sales - it is not all true. The recent chaos in the media wi th the female booty and female sexuality in pop culture as a whole has provided the world with powerful messages. So imagine, as these celebrities take on a huge influence on the media with their bodies, what kind of message are they trying toRead MoreExplain the concept of socialization and how useful is it in understanding human behavior?1354 Words à |à 5 Pagesmass media. The family is the main agent of socialization. Infants are totally dependent on those around them. The family provides protection, love, attention, affection and of course the basic needs such as food and clothing. To young children, the parents represent the whole world around them. The parents teach their children the attitudes and values accepted by the society. Other agents of socialization such as the school transmit accumulated knowledge and ways of society. The mass media play
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
The Twilight Saga 2 New Moon Chapter 23 THE TRUTH Free Essays
I HAD THE SENSE THAT Iââ¬â¢D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long timemy body was stiff, like I hadnââ¬â¢t moved once through all that time, either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreamsdreams and nightmaresswirled dizzily around the inside of my head. They were so vivid. We will write a custom essay sample on The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 23 THE TRUTH or any similar topic only for you Order Now The horrible and the heavenly, all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet canââ¬â¢t move fast enough And there were plenty of monsters, red-eyed fiends that were all the more ghastly for their genteel civility. The dream was still strongI could even remember the names. But the strongest, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the angel that was most clear. It was hard to let him go and wake up. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the vault of dreams I refused to revisit. I struggled with it as my mind became more alert, focusing on reality. I couldnââ¬â¢t remember what day of the week it was, but I was sure Jacob or school or work or something was waiting for me. I inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day. Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure. I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut. I was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. I was so close to waking any second now, and it would be gone. But I realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for me. The stone arms I imagined wrapped around me were far too substantial. If I let this go any further, Iââ¬â¢d be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, I wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion. ââ¬Å"Oh!â⬠I gasped, and threw my fists over my eyes. Well, clearly, Iââ¬â¢d gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let my imagination get so out of hand. Okay, so ââ¬Å"letâ⬠was the wrong word. Iââ¬â¢d forced it to get out of handpretty much stalked my hallucinationsand now my mind had snapped. It took less than half a second for me to realize that, as long as I was truly insane now, I might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant. I opened my eyes againand Edward was still there, his perfect face just inches away from mine. ââ¬Å"Did I frighten you?â⬠His low voice was anxious. This was very good, as delusions went. The face, the voice, the scent, everythingit was so much better than drowning. The beautiful figment of my imagination watched my changing expressions, with alarm. His irises were pitch-black, with bruise-like shadows under them. This surprised me; my hallucinatory Edwards were usually better fed. I blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure was real. Alice was part of my dream, and I wondered if she had really come back at all, or if that was just the preamble. I thought sheââ¬â¢d returned the day Iââ¬â¢d nearly drowned ââ¬Å"Oh, crapâ⬠I croaked. My throat was thick with sleeping. ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s wrong, Bella?â⬠I frowned at him unhappily. His face was even more anxious than before. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m dead, right?â⬠I moaned. ââ¬Å"I did drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie.â⬠Edward frowned, too. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re not dead.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then why am I not waking up?â⬠I challenged, raising my eyebrows. ââ¬Å"You are awake, Bella.â⬠I shook my head. ââ¬Å"Sure, sure. Thatââ¬â¢s what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. If I wake up, which I wonââ¬â¢t, because Iââ¬â¢m dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jakeâ⬠I trailed off in horror at what I had done. ââ¬Å"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare.â⬠His short-lived smile was grim. ââ¬Å"But I canââ¬â¢t imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?â⬠I grimaced. ââ¬Å"Obviously not. If I was in hell, you wouldnââ¬â¢t be with me.â⬠He sighed. My head was getting clearer. My eyes flickered away from his faceunwillinglyfor one second, to the dark, open window, and then back to him. I started to remember details and I felt a faint, unfamiliar blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Edward was really, truly here with me, and I was wasting time being an idiot. ââ¬Å"Did all of that really happen, then?â⬠It was almost impossible to reassign my dream as reality. I couldnââ¬â¢t wrap my head around the concept. ââ¬Å"That depends.â⬠Edwardââ¬â¢s smile was still hard. ââ¬Å"If youââ¬â¢re referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes.â⬠ââ¬Å"How strange,â⬠I mused. ââ¬Å"I really went to Italy. Did you know Iââ¬â¢d never been farther east than Albuquerque?â⬠He rolled his eyes. ââ¬Å"Maybe you should go back to sleep. Youââ¬â¢re not coherent.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not tired anymore.â⬠It was all coming clear now. ââ¬Å"What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?â⬠ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours.â⬠I stretched as he spoke. I was so stiff. ââ¬Å"Charlie?â⬠I asked. Edward frowned. ââ¬Å"Sleeping. You should probably know that Iââ¬â¢m breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window But, still, the intent was clear.â⬠ââ¬Å"Charlie banned you from the house?â⬠I asked, disbelief quickly melting into fury. His eyes were sad. ââ¬Å"Did you expect anything else?â⬠My eyes were mad. I was going to have a few words with my fatherperhaps it would be a good time to remind him that I was over the legal age of adulthood. It didnââ¬â¢t matter so much, of course, except in principle. All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition. I turned my thoughts to less painful avenues. ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s the story?â⬠I asked, genuinely curious, but also trying desperately to keep the conversation casual, to keep a firm grip on myself, so I wouldnââ¬â¢t scare him away with the frantic, gnawing craving that was raging inside me. ââ¬Å"What do you mean?â⬠ââ¬Å"What am I telling Charlie? Whatââ¬â¢s my excuse for disappearing for how long was I gone, anyway?â⬠I tried to count the hours in my head. ââ¬Å"Just three days.â⬠His eyes tightened, but he smiled more naturally this time. ââ¬Å"Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation. Iââ¬â¢ve got nothing.â⬠I groaned. ââ¬Å"Fabulous.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something,â⬠he offered, trying to comfort me. And I was comforted. Who cared what I had to deal with later? Every second that he was hereso close, his flawless face glowing in the dim light from the numbers on my alarm clockwas precious and not to be wasted. ââ¬Å"So,â⬠I began, picking the least importantthough still vitally interestingquestion to start with. I was safely delivered home, and he might decide to leave at any moment. I had to keep him talking. Besides, this temporary heaven wasnââ¬â¢t entirely complete without the sound of his voice. ââ¬Å"What have you been doing, up until three days ago?â⬠His face turned wary in an instant. ââ¬Å"Nothing terribly exciting.â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course not,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"Why are you making that face?â⬠ââ¬Å"Wellâ⬠I pursed my lips, considering. ââ¬Å"If you were, after all, just a dream, thatââ¬â¢s exactly the kind of thing you would say. My imagination must be used up.â⬠He sighed. ââ¬Å"If I tell you, will you finally believe that youââ¬â¢re not having a nightmare?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nightmare!â⬠I repeated scornfully. He waited for my answer. ââ¬Å"Maybe,â⬠I said after a second of thought. ââ¬Å"If you tell me.â⬠ââ¬Å"I was hunting.â⬠ââ¬Å"Is that the best you can do?â⬠I criticized. ââ¬Å"That definitely doesnââ¬â¢t prove Iââ¬â¢m awake.â⬠He hesitated, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. ââ¬Å"I wasnââ¬â¢t hunting fot food I was actually trying my hand at tracking. Iââ¬â¢m not very good at it.â⬠ââ¬Å"What were you tracking?â⬠I asked, intrigued. ââ¬Å"Nothing of consequence.â⬠His words didnââ¬â¢t match his expression; he looked upset, uncomfortable. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t understand.â⬠He hesitated; his face, shining with an odd green cast from the light of the clock, was torn. ââ¬Å"Iâ⬠He took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know,â⬠the words began to flow so fast, the way I remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, that I really had to concentrate to catch them allâ⬠that I had no idea. I didnââ¬â¢t realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. I had no idea that Victoria,â⬠his lips curled back when he said the nameâ⬠would come back. Iââ¬â¢ll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to Jamesââ¬â¢s thoughts. But I just didnââ¬â¢t see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why nowshe was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about himthat kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there. ââ¬Å"Not that thereââ¬â¢s any excuse for what I left you to face. When I heard what you told Alicewhat she saw herselfwhen I realized that you had to put your life in the hands of werewolves, immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herselfhe shuddered and the gush of words halted for a short second. ââ¬Å"Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse forâ⬠ââ¬Å"Stop,â⬠I interrupted him. He stared at me with agonized eyes, and I tried to find the right wordsthe words that would free him from this imagined obligation that caused him so much pain. They were very hard words to say. I didnââ¬â¢t know if I could get them out without breaking down. But I had to try to do it right. I didnââ¬â¢t want to be a source of guilt and anguish in his life. He should be happy, no matter what it cost me. Iââ¬â¢d really been hoping to put off this part of our last conversation. It was going to bring things to an end so much sooner. Drawing on all my months of practice with trying to be normal for Charlie, I kept my face smooth. ââ¬Å"Edward,â⬠I said. His name burned my throat a little on the way out. I could feel the ghost of the hole, waiting to rip itself wide again as soon as he disappeared. I didnââ¬â¢t quite see how I was going to survive it this time. ââ¬Å"This has to stop now. You canââ¬â¢t think about things that way. You canââ¬â¢t let this this guilt rule your life. You canââ¬â¢t take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, itââ¬â¢s just part of how life is for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus or whatever it is next time, you have to realize that itââ¬â¢s not your job to take the blame. You canââ¬â¢t just go running off to Italy because you feel bad that you didnââ¬â¢t save me. Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and not your fault. I know itââ¬â¢s your your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but you really canââ¬â¢t let that make you go to such extremes! Itââ¬â¢s v ery irresponsiblethink of Esme and Carlisle andâ⬠I was on the edge of losing it. I stopped to take a deep breath, hoping to calm myself. I had to set him free. I had to make sure this never happened again. ââ¬Å"Isabella Marie Swan,â⬠he whispered, the strangest expression crossing his face. He almost looked mad. ââ¬Å"Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?â⬠I could feel the blank incomprehension on my face. ââ¬Å"Didnââ¬â¢t you?â⬠ââ¬Å"Feel guilty? Intensely so. More than you can comprehend.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then what are you saying? I donââ¬â¢t understand.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead,â⬠he said, voice soft, eyes fierce. ââ¬Å"Even if Iââ¬â¢d had no hand in your deathâ⬠he shuddered as he whispered the last wordâ⬠even if it wasnââ¬â¢t my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more carefulI should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds? ââ¬Å"The oddsâ⬠he muttered then, distracted. His voice was so low I wasnââ¬â¢t sure I beard it right. ââ¬Å"The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. Iââ¬â¢ll never criticize Romeo again.â⬠ââ¬Å"But I still donââ¬â¢t understand,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s my whole point. So what?â⬠ââ¬Å"Excuse me?â⬠ââ¬Å"So what if I was dead?â⬠He stared at me dubiously for a long moment before answering. ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t you remember anything I told you before?â⬠ââ¬Å"I remember everything that you told me.â⬠Including the words that had negated all the rest. He brushed the tip of his cool finger against my lower lip. ââ¬Å"Bella, you seem to be under a misapprehension.â⬠He closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth with half a smile on his beautiful face. It wasnââ¬â¢t a happy smile. ââ¬Å"I thought Iââ¬â¢d explained it clearly before. Bella, I canââ¬â¢t live in a world where you donââ¬â¢t exist.â⬠ââ¬Å"I amâ⬠My head swam as I looked for the appropriate word. ââ¬Å"Confused.â⬠That worked. I couldnââ¬â¢t make sense of what he was saying. He stared deep into my eyes with his sincere, earnest gaze. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m a good liar, Bella, I have to be.â⬠I froze, my muscles locking down as if for impact. The fault line in my chest rippled; the pain of it took my breath away. He shook my shoulder, trying to loosen my rigid pose. ââ¬Å"Let me finish! Iââ¬â¢m a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly.â⬠He winced. ââ¬Å"That was excruciating.â⬠I waited, still frozen. ââ¬Å"When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbyeâ⬠I didnââ¬â¢t allow myself to remember. I fought to keep myself in the present second only. ââ¬Å"You werenââ¬â¢t going to let go,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"I could see that. I didnââ¬â¢t want to do itit felt like it would kill me to do itbut I knew that if I couldnââ¬â¢t convince you that I didnââ¬â¢t love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought Iââ¬â¢d moved on, so would you.â⬠ââ¬Å"A clean break,â⬠I whispered through unmoving lips. ââ¬Å"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossiblethat you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and Iââ¬â¢m so sorrysorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldnââ¬â¢t protect you from what I an. I lied to save you, and it didnââ¬â¢t work. Iââ¬â¢m sorry. ââ¬Å"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times Iââ¬â¢ve told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?â⬠I didnââ¬â¢t answer. I was too shocked to form a rational response. ââ¬Å"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didnââ¬â¢t want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous conceptas if there were anu way that I could exist without needing you!â⬠I was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible. He shook my shoulder again, not hard, but enough that my teeth rattled a little. ââ¬Å"Bella,â⬠he sighed. ââ¬Å"Really, what were you thinking!â⬠And so I started to cry. The tears welled up and then gushed miserably down my cheeks. ââ¬Å"I knew it,â⬠I sobbed. ââ¬Å"I knew I was dreaming.â⬠ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re impossible,â⬠he said, and he laughed oncea hard laugh, frustrated. ââ¬Å"How can I put this so that youââ¬â¢ll believe me? Youââ¬â¢re not asleep, and youââ¬â¢re not dead. Iââ¬â¢m here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didnââ¬â¢t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy.â⬠I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes. ââ¬Å"You donââ¬â¢t believe me, do you?â⬠he whispered, his face paler than his usual paleI could see that even in the dim light. ââ¬Å"Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?â⬠ââ¬Å"It never made sense for you to love me,â⬠I explained, my voice breaking twice. ââ¬Å"I always knew that.â⬠His eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll prove youââ¬â¢re awake,â⬠he promised. He caught my face securely between his iron hands, ignoring my struggles when I tried to turn my head away. ââ¬Å"Please donââ¬â¢t,â⬠I whispered. He stopped, his lips just half an inch from mine. ââ¬Å"Why not?â⬠he demanded. His breath blew into my face, making my head whirl. ââ¬Å"When I wake upâ⬠He opened his mouth to protest, so I revisedâ⬠okay, forget that onewhen you leave again, itââ¬â¢s going to be hard enough without this, too.â⬠He pulled back an inch, to stare at my face. ââ¬Å"Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because Iââ¬â¢m too late? Because Iââ¬â¢ve hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be quite fair. I wonââ¬â¢t contest your decision. So donââ¬â¢t try to spare my feelings, pleasejust tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything Iââ¬â¢ve done to you. Can you?â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"What kind of an idiotic question is that?â⬠ââ¬Å"Just answer it. Please.â⬠I stared at him darkly for a long moment. ââ¬Å"The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love youand thereââ¬â¢s nothing you can do about it!â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s all I needed to hear.â⬠His mouth was on mine then, and I couldnââ¬â¢t fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than me, but because my will crumbled into dust the second our lips met. This kiss was not quite as careful as others I remembered, which suited me just fine. If I was going to rip myself up further, I might as well get as much in trade as possible. So I kissed him back, my heart pounding out a jagged, disjointed rhythm while my breathing turned to panting and my fingers moved greedily to his face. I could feel his marble body against every line of mine, and I was so glad he hadnââ¬â¢t listened to methere was no pain in the world that would have justified missing this. His hands memorized my face, the same way mine were tracing his, and, in the brief seconds when his lips were free, he whispered my name. When I was starting to get dizzy, he pulled away, only to lay his ear against my heart. I lay there, dazed, waiting for my gasping to slow and quiet. ââ¬Å"By the way,â⬠he said in a casual tone. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not leaving you.â⬠I didnââ¬â¢t say anything, and he seemed to hear skepticism in my silence. He lifted his face to lock my gaze in his. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not going anywhere. Not without you,â⬠he added more seriously. ââ¬Å"I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to youkeeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadnââ¬â¢t thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. Iââ¬â¢m much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know Iââ¬â¢ll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to staythank heaven for that! It seems you canââ¬â¢t be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us.â⬠ââ¬Å"Donââ¬â¢t promise me anything,â⬠I whispered. If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing that would kill me. Where all those merciless vampires had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job. Anger glinted metallic in his black eyes. ââ¬Å"You think Iââ¬â¢m lying to you now?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nonot lying.â⬠I shook my head, trying to think it through coherently. To examine the hypothesis that he did love me, while staying objective, clinical, so I wouldnââ¬â¢t fall into the trap of hoping. ââ¬Å"You could mean it now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?â⬠He flinched. I thought back over those last days of my life before he left me, tried to see them through the filter of what he was telling me now. From that perspective, imagining that heââ¬â¢d left me while loving me, left me for me, his brooding and cold silences took on a different meaning. ââ¬Å"It isnââ¬â¢t as if you hadnââ¬â¢t thought the first decision through, is it?â⬠I guessed. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢ll end up doing what you think is right.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not as strong as you give me credit for,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of timeand not much of itbefore I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. Iââ¬â¢d be happy to beg now, if youââ¬â¢d like that.â⬠I grimaced. ââ¬Å"Be serious, please.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh, I am,â⬠he insisted, glaring now. ââ¬Å"Will you please try to hear what Iââ¬â¢m telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?â⬠He waited, studying my face as he spoke to make sure I was really listening. ââ¬Å"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were starspoints of light and reason And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldnââ¬â¢t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.â⬠I wanted to believe him. But this was my life without him that he was describing, not the other way around. ââ¬Å"Your eyes will adjust,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s just the problemthey canââ¬â¢t.â⬠ââ¬Å"What about your distractions?â⬠He laughed without a trace of humor. ââ¬Å"Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the the agony. My heart hasnââ¬â¢t beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gonelike I was hollow. Like Iââ¬â¢d left everything that was inside me here with you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s funny,â⬠I muttered. He arched one perfect eyebrow. ââ¬Å"Funny? ââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"I meant strangeI thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I havenââ¬â¢t been able to really breathe in so long.â⬠I filled my lungs, luxuriating in the sensation. ââ¬Å"And my heart. That was definitely lost.â⬠He closed his eyes and laid his ear over my heart again. I let my cheek press against his hair, felt the texture of it on my skin, smelled the delicious scent of him. ââ¬Å"Tracking wasnââ¬â¢t a distraction then?â⬠I asked, curious, and also needing to distract myself. I was very much in danger of hoping. I wouldnââ¬â¢t be able to stop myself for long. My heart throbbed, singing in my chest. ââ¬Å"No.â⬠He sighed. ââ¬Å"That was never a distraction. It was an obligation.â⬠ââ¬Å"What does that mean?â⬠ââ¬Å"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasnââ¬â¢t going to let her get away with Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Braziland really she came here.â⬠He groaned. ââ¬Å"I wasnââ¬â¢t even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fearsâ⬠ââ¬Å"You were hunting Victoria?â⬠I half-shrieked as soon as I could find my voice, shooting through two octaves. Charlieââ¬â¢s distant snores stuttered, and then picked up a regular rhythm again. ââ¬Å"Not well,â⬠Edward answered, studying my outraged expression with a confused look. ââ¬Å"But Iââ¬â¢ll do better this time. She wonââ¬â¢t be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer.â⬠ââ¬Å"That is out of the question,â⬠I managed to choke out. Insanity. Even if he had Emmett or Jasper help him. Even if he had Emmett and Jasper help. It was worse than my other imaginings: Jacob Black standing across a small space from Victoriaââ¬â¢s vicious and feline figure. I couldnââ¬â¢t bear to picture Edward there, even though he was so much more durable than my half-human best friend. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not afterâ⬠I interrupted him again, trying to sound calm. ââ¬Å"Didnââ¬â¢t you just promise that you werenââ¬â¢t going to leave?â⬠I asked, fighting the words as I said them, nor letting them plant themselves in my heart. ââ¬Å"That isnââ¬â¢t exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?â⬠He frowned. A snarl began to build low in his chest. ââ¬Å"I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoriaâ⬠the snarl became more pronouncedâ⬠is going to die. Soon.â⬠ââ¬Å"Letââ¬â¢s not be hasty,â⬠I said, trying to hide my panic. ââ¬Å"Maybe sheââ¬â¢s not coming back. Jakeââ¬â¢s pack probably scared her off. Thereââ¬â¢s really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, Iââ¬â¢ve got bigger problems than Victoria.â⬠Edwardââ¬â¢s eyes narrowed, but he nodded. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s true. The werewolves are a problem.â⬠I snorted. ââ¬Å"I wasnââ¬â¢t talking about Jacob. My problems are a lot worse that a handful of adolescent wolves getting themselves into trouble.â⬠Edward looked as if he were about to say something, and then thought better of it. His teeth clicked together, and he spoke through them. ââ¬Å"Really?â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"Then what would be your greatest problem? That would make Victoriaââ¬â¢s returning for you seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?â⬠ââ¬Å"How about the second greatest?â⬠I hedged. ââ¬Å"All right,â⬠he agreed, suspicious. I paused. I wasnââ¬â¢t sure I could say the name. ââ¬Å"There are others who are coming to look for me,â⬠I reminded him in a subdued whisper. He sighed, but the reaction was not as strong as I would have imagined after his response to Victoria. ââ¬Å"The Volturi are only the second greatest?â⬠ââ¬Å"You donââ¬â¢t seem that upset about it,â⬠I noted. ââ¬Å"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, or even me. They count years the way you count days. I wouldnââ¬â¢t be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again,â⬠he added lightly. Horror washed through me. Thirty. So his promises meant nothing, in the end. If I were going to turn thirty someday, then he couldnââ¬â¢t be planning on staying long. The harsh pain of this knowledge made me realize that Iââ¬â¢d already begun to hope, without giving myself permission to do 5.0. ââ¬Å"You donââ¬â¢t have to be afraid,â⬠he said, anxious as he watched the tears dew up again on the rims of my eyes. ââ¬Å"I wonââ¬â¢t let them hurt you.â⬠ââ¬Å"While youââ¬â¢re here.â⬠Not that I cared what happened to me when he left. He took my face between his two stone hands, holding it tightly while his midnight eyes glared into mine with the gravitational force of a black hole. ââ¬Å"I will never leave you again.â⬠ââ¬Å"But you said thirty,â⬠I whispered. The tears leaked over the edge. ââ¬Å"What? Youââ¬â¢re going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right.â⬠His eyes softened, while his mouth went hard. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s exactly what Iââ¬â¢m going to do. What choice have I? I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul.â⬠ââ¬Å"Is this reallyâ⬠I tried to keep my voice even, but this question was too hard. I remembered his face when Aro had almost begged him to consider making me immortal. The sick look there. Was this fixation with keeping me human really about my soul, or was it because he wasnââ¬â¢t sure that he wanted me around that long? ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠he asked, waiting for my question. I asked a different one. Almostbut not quiteas hard. ââ¬Å"But what about when I get so old that people think Iââ¬â¢m your mother? Your grandmother?â⬠My voice was pale with revulsionI could see Granââ¬â¢s face again in the dream mirror. His whole face was soft now. He brushed the tears from my cheek with his lips. ââ¬Å"That doesnââ¬â¢t mean anything to me,â⬠he breathed against my skin. ââ¬Å"You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of courseâ⬠He hesitated, flinching slightly. ââ¬Å"If you outgrew meif you wanted something moreI would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldnââ¬â¢t stand in your way if you wanted to leave me.â⬠His eyes were liquid onyx and utterly sincere. He spoke as if heââ¬â¢d put endless amounts of thought into this asinine plan. ââ¬Å"You do realize that Iââ¬â¢ll die eventually, right?â⬠I demanded. Heââ¬â¢d thought about this part, too. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll follow after as soon as I can.â⬠ââ¬Å"That is seriouslyâ⬠I looked for the right word. ââ¬Å"Sick.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella, itââ¬â¢s the only right way leftâ⬠ââ¬Å"Letââ¬â¢s just back up for a minute,â⬠I said; feeling angry made it so much easier to be clear, decisive. ââ¬Å"You do remember the Volturi, right? I canââ¬â¢t stay human forever. Theyââ¬â¢ll kill me. Even if they donââ¬â¢t think of me tillIââ¬â¢m thirtyâ⬠I hissed the wordâ⬠do you really think theyââ¬â¢ll forget?â⬠ââ¬Å"No,â⬠he answered slowly, shaking his head. ââ¬Å"They wonââ¬â¢t forget. Butâ⬠ââ¬Å"But?â⬠He grinned while I stared at him warily. Maybe I wasnââ¬â¢t the only crazy one. ââ¬Å"I have a few plans.â⬠ââ¬Å"And these plans,â⬠I said, my voice getting more acidic with each word. ââ¬Å"These plans all center around me staying human.â⬠My attitude hardened his expression. ââ¬Å"Naturally.â⬠His tone was brusque, his divine face arrogant. We glowered at each other for a long minute. Then I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, I pushed his arms away so that I could sit up. ââ¬Å"Do you want me to leave?â⬠he asked, and it made my heart flutter to see that this idea hurt him, though he tried not to show it. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I told him. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m leaving.â⬠He watched me suspiciously as I climbed out of the bed and fumbled around in the dark room, looking for my shoes. ââ¬Å"May I ask where you are going.'â⬠he asked. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m going to your house,â⬠I told him, still feeling around blindly. He got up and came to my side. ââ¬Å"Here are your shoes. How did you plan to get there?â⬠ââ¬Å"My truck.â⬠ââ¬Å"That will probably wake Charlie,â⬠he offered as a deterrent. I sighed. ââ¬Å"I know. But honestly, Iââ¬â¢ll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much more trouble can I really getin?â⬠ââ¬Å"None. Heââ¬â¢ll blame me, not you.â⬠ââ¬Å"If you have a better idea, Iââ¬â¢m all ears.â⬠ââ¬Å"Stay here,â⬠he suggested, but his expression wasnââ¬â¢t hopeful. ââ¬Å"No dice. But you go ahead and make yourself at home,â⬠I encouraged, surprised at how natural my teasing sounded, and headed for the door. He was there before me, blocking my way. I frowned, and turned for the window. It wasnââ¬â¢t really that far to the ground, and it was mostly grass beneath ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠he sighed. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll give you a ride.â⬠I shrugged. ââ¬Å"Either way. But you probably should be there, too.â⬠ââ¬Å"And why is that?â⬠ââ¬Å"Because youââ¬â¢re extraordinarily opinionated, and Iââ¬â¢m sure youââ¬â¢ll want a chance to air your views.â⬠ââ¬Å"My views on which subject?â⬠He asked through his teeth. ââ¬Å"This isnââ¬â¢t just about you anymore. Youââ¬â¢re not the center of the universe, you know.â⬠My own personal universe was, of course, a different story. ââ¬Å"If youââ¬â¢re going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say.â⬠ââ¬Å"A say in what?â⬠he asked, each word distinct. ââ¬Å"My mortality. Iââ¬â¢m putting it to a vote.â⬠How to cite The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 23 THE TRUTH, Essay examples
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